Royaume-Uni; Nuls Points

Today was, as hoped, somewhat better than yesterday. At work again, which was rather uneventful due to a complete lack of customers. I finished at 6, which is usually a pain as the next bus isn't until 8:15, but tonight I met Jamie in town. This lead to the evening being made up of magic tricks and talking absolute nonsense; i.e. a good evening. I got home, and a decision had been made to watch the Eurovision selection program instead of Lost, leaving me to watch it online tomorrow. I accepted this, as I enjoy watching the Eurovision song contest every year. The only real downside there is to watching it for me is the chilling revelation that another year has passed blazingly quickly since I saw the previous show. I wasn't expecting to be blown away by any contestants, but was particularly shocked by the sheer lack of talent displayed by every single act on the show. When it came to the second round, I was now only half-listening, and thought one guy was singing a bad song from the archives, when my Mother alerted me to the fact that it was in fact this year's Eurovision entry song he was singing. The song is nothing other than putrid sausage factory slurry, with no elements that serve more purpose than making me incredibly bored. I did not stick around to watch the rest of the show, so I do not know which of the three remaining acts won, but whichever one was voted for, the following review is appropriate;

They are shit.

On another point, I saw the trailer for the new Twlilght movie; Eclipse. I like the first movie, having seen it quite a few times, and have seen the second one once, again enjoying it. However, I am starting to get bored of the plot dragging out so far. If I was Edward or Jacob, I would have long gotten bored of Bella's antics, and told her to stop being so bloody fickle. My opinion is that she should not go with Edward or Jacob, as they are both horrific monsters. Instead, Kristen Stewart should come to Drumnadrochit where I shall greet her with none of the following; a family who wants to eat her; a group of friends who want to eat her; myself being a vampire; myself being a werewolf. I feel I have digressed somewhat from my point. What I am trying to say is that with such static characters, they are really scraping the barrel for a plot to carry out another movie, let alone the fact that we are not even half way through the book saga. Unless something really starts to happen, I expect to be bored by the end of this one.

It was a shame about Corey Haim dying; I have liked Lost Boys since first seeing it about age 10, so it's always nasty when someone from a loved film dies. Not to suggest that a "normal" person's death isn't nasty, but you know what I mean...

Alice in Wonderland with Danny and Lou tomorrow; if there is any hiccups even close to last week's, there shall be breaking news bulletins tomorrow night; "massacre in highland cinema". On that happy thought, I shall be off.

-1

This morning I woke up with thoughts along the lines of "I'm going to start the day here and finish the day here. There is nothing inbetween these two points that I look forward to, so what's the point in getting up?". Somehow I found the motivation to get up and go to work, where very little exciting happened. The highlight of the day's work would be showing off a new card trick I learnt to a few colleagues. I got the bus home, meeting Chris and Darroch which was a nice surprise. This evening has consisted of me listening to No Doubt constantly (I have rediscovered them yet again, and this time around absolutely love them), trawling the internet, and having panic attacks almost constantly. Anyone familiar with panic attacks will be aware that they are horrific, and I have no idea WHY I'm having them; there's nothing really worrying me just now; but I was awake most of last night from them and this evening has been torturous. I played Final Fantasy for a while, but couldn't even concentrate on that. I ended the night watching Skins which I usually love, but tonight's episode was an abomination. Each and every plot point annoyed me so I shan't even explain my grievances with it as I would be typing all night.

All in all, it's been a pretty disgraceful day, so I'm off to bed and shall hope that tomorrow will be better.

We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, Business is a-boomin'.

Today I finally saw Inglourious Basterds in it's entirety. I did see it at the cinema, but had to leave almost an hour before the end to catch a bus. Doing this bugs me, but when said bus is the last bus, there's not much that can be done. I digress. It was excellent, as almost everyone else on earth has concluded long before now. I also totally understand why Christolph Waltz is winning all his awards, but wonder why they are for "supporting actor" when he features in >75% of the screentime. Also, I feel Quentin Tarantino deserves a lot of credit for making a world war two movie that is extremely over the top to the point of being campy, completely inaccurate, full of knowing cheesiness, and lasting over two and a half hours, yet keeping it from becoming silly, boring, or being bogged down by pop-culture references as Tarantino has been guilty of in the past. Don't get me wrong, I love Kill Bill with all the old samurai movie references, but in Inglourious, such blatant homages would have been out of place.

In addition to the movie, I started playing Final Fantasy XIII for PS3. It is actually the first Final Fantasy game I have played (Kingdom Hearts 2 is one of my favourite games ever, but is more of a spin-off). Ever since I bought my PS3 over two years ago I've been waiting for a final fantasy game because I love the visual style of them, and it did NOT disappoint! The graphics are certaintly the best of any game I have played; the cinematics are above the CGI movies I've seen, and the cutscenes/gameplay are lower quality, but still fantastic. There is also a good game underneath the pretty colours; the plot has got me hooked, and the gameplay takes a while to get going, as it really holds your hand, slowly teaching you different elements of the battle system for the entire first Chapter. I clocked in about 3 and a half hours today, and have not long gotten to chapter 2, so it looks like I'll be hooked for a while; sorry, Assassins Creed 2; we'll have to go our separate ways fo the time being...

My evening has been spent editing the rest of Matt's promo photos. I am very pleased with how many of them have turned out; there is a few which I didn't even bother processing, but that is to be expected; I've managed to make the others come out as I had planned, so I feel wholly chuffed with myself just now.

Boxboy

Today I was at work after a ridiculous four days off. During these days off, I have involuntarily woken up at around 7am and disgusted myself at being unable to have a lie in. This morning, when I have to get up by 8am, I found myself still comatose at 8:15. I fear I may have remained in bed until now had I not remembered that Final Fantasy 13 came out today; thus my pre-order at gamestation was ready. I skipped into gamestation and picked it up; the Limited Edition PS3 version; and was spoken into buying the Limited Edition guide to accompany it. I have yet another day off tomorrow, so shall likely spend most of the day playing it.

It may sound as though I have it cushy, with all these days off, but it's actually annoying me, as little work = little money. This is most inappropriate, as I have decided which car I want to buy once I finally get a licence; a Chrysler Cruiser. They are made entirely out of win. It is a car so awesome that I even like it in silver; I HATE silver cars.

Also, I am feeling very much like getting a tattoo in the near future. I suspect that if these two purchases are made, I shall be a man.

My evening was spent firstly aimlessly wandering waiting for my bus. Having finished work at 6, waiting for the 8:15 bus is extremely boring. Once this had passed, I went to the Benleva with Allan, Darroch and Neil (with Ewan popping round for about 20 seconds at the end before we left; poor boy). It wasn't anything majorly exciting, just a few friends sitting in a pub playing pool. My pool playing was mostly uninspiring, with a couple of horrific failures and a fair few spectacular flukes. It also consisted of Darroch coming very close to being murdered by Allan due to making frequent comments on his cuboid physique. All in all, the evening was nothing spectacular, but much more fun than I'd have had sitting at home watching cats doing funny things on youtube.

WOAH-HO-HOO!

I spent the afternoon today with Mata Druim, taking promotional photos for his upcoming solo album. We had a great time, and the sun was out, meaning lighting was excellent for some awesome photo opportunities. Perhaps later on I'll post some of the photos. For now, there's a few "previews" on his facebook page.

This evening was the night of the Oscars Highlights (we don't have sky movies, so I can't watch it live unfortunately); somehow I'd managed to live a normal life today whilst avoiding any news of the winners. Firstly, I'll say that Steve Martin is fantastic. As for the winners, the highlight for me was Christolph Waltz getting supporting actor for Inglourious Basterds; even though I have not yet seen the film in it's entirety, the half I did see showed that he played the part brilliantly. The majority of the show was overshadowed by the Hurt Locker, though, which is a film I am not very keen on watching, as it is based around the war that is currently happening. To me a film is entertainment; people have written the Hurt Locker with the intention of entertaining people and to make money. To do this based on a current event in which people are dying most days (I heard another soldier was killed today) is in very bad taste in my opinion. However, I digress; this alone is not cause for it not to recieve awards; it is the revelation that the producer has spent a while emailing the members of the Academy urging them to vote for his movie. The exact contents of the emails have not been released as far as I know, but reports say that they were reminding the members that the Hurt Locker is "not a $500 million blockbuster", so cannot be expected to compare to Avatar et al, and that this should be remembered in voting. I would not be surprised if it also featured emotional blackmail based around the "cause" of the movie as well. The producer in question was banned from attending the ceremony, but I feel this was far too lenient; Academy rules are very strict and clear in forbidding such activity by filmmakers, so I feel that the entire movie should have been removed from the shortlist. It's winning Best Movie earns it no respect from me because of this. That doesn't mean to say that Avatar should have won and I'm in a mood about it not winning; there was a number of great movies nominated, and I feel that after the rules were so severely broken, another movie should have been given a clean victory.

Ice, ice, baby.

Today was the big day of the X Factor tour! Drove there with Ian and his wife which was good fun and very kind of them. We got there and a select few along with us were let in long before the shows start due to us winning VIP tickets through working at Currys and completing the challenge set to the region by an initiative that will make no sense to most and will bore the rest if I was to explain. Long story short, I sold particular stuff so won. Our early entry was for us to be given goody bags with the tour guide, a t-shirt and a keyring (all for free) before we were lead to a large empty room and instructed to spread out across the walls. As soon as this was done, a door was opened and all the artists that we were waiting to see walked into the room to speak to us, sign the guide, take photos etc. This was incredible. I did feel that some of them were in "default mode" of sorts, probably putting on a performer's front to quell pre-show nerves. Jamie Archer and Ollie were rather worse for wears after partying last night, but Jamie found time to notify me that he liked my hair. Coming from someone with a massive afro that is a major complement. It was during this time that I met Jedward. As anyone familiar with my facebook or twitter page during last Autumn, I was not a fan of their performances, but meeting them was the highlight of my day. They are extremely genuine guys, completely barmy, but they clearly wanted to be meeting their fans, and were darting all over the room, meeting each group two or three times. It was very strange that they were both identical and acted exactly the same; literally like having clones running around you. Coupled with the fact that they are pretty famous, it was a very surreal moment. None less so when they were speaking to me about general things, playing with my camera etc when John noticed my shoes and called to his twin; "Edward! Edward! Look at his shoes!" They requested to see the entirety of the shoes as they were covered by my jeans, and upon seeing them became really excited about them; "We used to have those shoes, John!" "I know, Edward!" "Did you get those at T K Maxx?". In fact, I did get them, and apparently at the same time, John and Edward bought themselves these shoes. They then went on for a while about how amazing the shoes were/are before going around the other people there, never losing any enthusiasm. It pains me to say this, but they are great. Also, their live performances weren't "good", but were very entertaining, which really is all they're meant to be. Vanilla Ice did not appear however.

The show itself was brilliant. I feel I have rambled on enough, so here are a couple of photos from the day. Everyone signed my program, and I got photos with all except Lucy Jones; somehow she escaped my grasp, but strangely enough, she did take a photo of me with Danyl *insert gag about my lens extending for her*. On that note I shall bid you all a good night. It may only be 10pm, but I am shattered.

A disgrace.

Today all started well, when I went to town, got a few interesting DVDs and Music Books, met friends, went to Costa etc etc. We then headed up to the retail park for the usual Saturday cinema where it all started going downhill. We were booked for seeing Alice in Wonderland in 3D, thus avoiding the marauding crowds. It turned out that it was a sell-out, so we were doubly chuffed; firstly that we HAD tickets, and secondly that a packed cinema is good fun. We got into the screen and the attendant found people to be sitting in our seats (at Vue, you book specific seats for 3D screenings and an attendant shows you to said seats). Turned out that somewhere along the line, there was an epic cock-up and the seat had been booked online by both ourselves and the occupant. We were escorted out of the cinema and given a refund. Nonetheless, we were deeply miffed, and spoke to the manager, who give him his due, gave us complementary tickets for next time we visit. Still, though, it left us 4 hours to wander aimlessly around Tesco, which gets boring after 20 minutes. This boredom was converted to frustration by a visit from two females, assumably sisters, who none of us have ever met, yet felt compelled to follow us around remarking on me and Jamie's ugliness, strange hair, clothes, and basically rip us to pieces. Jamie was the main fighter in this situation, dazzling them with his magic tricks that he always has to hand, leaving them to flounder, noticeably confounded, but still trying to prove themselves better than us even when there is no one around of their group to be showing off to. I want to be clear that it isn't the insults that mattered most to me, it's the realisation that these two are typical of the sort of people who are forming much of society nowadays; people who show no sign of wit or intelligence, so set in conforming to a set model that they lose all individuality and personality. It is because of this that I am glad to be a "freak"/"loser"/"wierd", because all of these are much better than being a dull clone. Also I am proud to say that most of my friends would also be vilified by these ignoramuses, as they all commit the unthinkable of today, in being themselves.

It may be apparent that my mood this evening is rather dark, but I remain optimistic about tomorrow's trip to Aberdeen to see the X Factor tour. I really hope that tomorrow's post will be more enthusiastic, and will show a lighter side of the world.

Road Roller

Today was set to be rather uneventful, but it turned out I had a great evening. Firstly, I went to the Benleva for the pub quiz. We were champions, coming 11th out of 12 teams; a true triumph in my eyes. Following this, Darroch, Drew, Ben and myself retreated to Drew's house for "Kitchen Banter". This lasted well over two hours, and it was a great reminder that even though I hate living in Drumnadrochit I have some amazing friends here, and spending this sort of time with them does much more for me than psychiatrists and pills have managed over 18 months. So thanks guys.

There's also another interesting point to be made; if someone can tell you stories that make you laugh INCREDIBLY hard, it can cure sinusitis at least for a while. I shall explain; a particularly amusing story was being told and acted out by Drew, causing me to laugh so much tears were rolling down my face. The story progressed and I continued to laugh harder still, until the point where the story finished and I found my nose to be bleeding profusely, apparently relieving the pressure in my head. And thus my sinusitis has gone for now. An interesting home cure for anyone who suffers with their sinuses out there; get a Drew.

Today I also found out that I am definitely going to the X Factor tour in Aberdeen on Sunday, where I am on the Corporate VIP list! I'm not clear on the details, but I am lead to believe that I will have the opportunity to meet the artists and such, so, as a fan of the X Factor, I am looking forward to this immensely. The sheer thought of meeting Jedward makes me laugh, so if it does happen, I will probably be inconsolable at the event; perhaps the same will happen as with Drew's story. I hope not though, as it would be embarrasing to meet Lucy Jones with blood all over my face...

This, along with seeing Alice in Wonderland in 3D tomorrow night, means I am set up for a fantastic weekend!

Let's start again, shall we?

Technically this is a new blog, but I'm using my old page because I like the address and as I started it over a year ago, I can't be accused of copying Darroch. However, on that note, if there's anyone left who isn't, read his blog ON THIS LINK - it is quite good sometimes.

This page shall be dedicated to whatever I think is relevant, and I'll aim at posting something every day. Much of the time I expect I shall end up in a rant about something, which coincidentally is what the following story is...

The other morning I was waiting for the bus to town; being due at 8:45, it's arrival at 9:10 was somewhat displeasing, but since I wasn't starting work until 11, I wasn't bothered, just rather cold. Once the bus pulled in, it was apparent that the driver was in fact a female; this caused a majority of the bystanders to make humorous comments before approaching the bus. I got on the bus as normal, asking for my usual ticket. I was greeted by the abrupt response "How much d'ya usually pay? Machine's broken." After a seconds pause caused by having not yet properly woken up, I answered truthfully; "Two Pounds". Her reply was a drawn out "REEEAAALLLY", spoken in a tone that made it clear that her true meaning was "Stop lying you filthy faggot". I assured her that I always pay two pounds due to my ownership of a youth discount card. She started to argue that they were not valid on the 19 for some reason, where I informed her that they are in fact valid on all buses in Scotland. She continued regardless; "Oh well, perhaps it's the 17 they're not used on" to which I firmly reassured her that as both the 19 and 17 are bus services in the Inverness-shire district, a district of Scotland, my Scottish youth discount card is valid for a discount on both of them, and that I shall be travelling to Inverness this morning for the sum of two pounds. This battle was thus declared over, and after she spent a minute or two counting out the change from my ten pound note whilst staring at some unknown presence in the distance with burning hate in response to my joking-come-apologising remark that the cash machine doesn't give out anything less, I took my handwritten ticket to my seat and listened to Rhapsody for the journey. When approaching my stop, I stood up, shuffling awkwardly to the front of the bus, where, leaving the previous altercation behind me, said "Could I get off at Tesco please?". Before I had finished my sentence, she interjected with the fury of no man on earth; "SIT DOWN UNTIL THE BUS STOPS!". I obliged, and once the bus has certaintly lost all of it's momentum, I exited, wishing the merry bint a "Lovely day".

It is this sort of scenario that really bugs me; it is the bus driver's job to simply take my money, drive, and stop when it's someone's time to get off. This process has limited spoken contact, but what is said should be polite as a standard rule of humanity. What gives her, and the many others who treat customers with complete disrespect, reason to be quite so miserable when their job descriptions state the complete opposite? At my job, at Currys, I deal with some disagreeable customers, and no matter how much I am annoyed by their words or actions, my next customer is treated with total respect and politeness. I am being payed to do this, and so was the bus driver. If she is incapable of such a simple task, she should not be employed by the service industry.

I'm a cyborg but that's okay

This is a South Korean film about a girl who believes she is a cyborg. Instantly it is impossible for this to be an ordinary film, but still it surprised me at how odd it was. The first scene features three points in time, a breaking of the fourth wall, the main character's mother explaining that her brothers and sisters are all mice, and what could best be described as a somewhat graphic suicide attempt. Although it's not intended as a suicide attempt; the main character slits her wrist in order to insert her charging cable, and plugs herself into the mains. All the while, light happy music not unlike Danny Elfman's scores is playing, and everything is shot in bright colours, creating a childish gleeful appearance. This opening scene makes it perfectly clear that at the very least this film is going to be a unique experience.

The visual style of this movie is unusual in the way that everything looks like a photograph; attention has been paid to colours used in every scene, and there are certain shots where the exposure has been adjusted in such a way that only main focal points are visible. Many times unconventional shots are used, such as odd angles, sweeping shots in mundane scenes, and one scene particularly stands out; without giving plot points away, it features a lot of people being shot. It is filmed from far away, looking down as one continuous take. The people involved are hardly visible, you just hear shots and see soil being thrown up.

The tone of the film is where it has made itself very unusual however. Many scenes in the mental hospital are comedic, with very strange, comical things happening either to main characters or in the background. This means that at face value the film is a comedy, with flourishes of violence similar to a Quentin Tarantino movie. However, if viewed as a comedy, the film lacks any warmth or character; it is more of a freak show that you will probably feel awkward for finding funny. You must look deeper into the film to find the true meaning. The director, Park Chan-Wook, has very cleverly managed to use an almost slapstick comedy to subtly explore the dark topic of mental illness, and concealed a touching insight as to how people can overcome them in their own ways. It is something that many films attempt; take a dark subject and explore it via comedy, and have a touching end result; but this movie does it on a far deeper level, with Chan-Wook drawing on his background in philosophy. It manages to refrain from coming across as too depressing or sickly; everything is moderated, maintaining the delicacy that makes the film so successful.

Unfortunately, for the more casual viewer who understandably expects a film to be taken at face value, it will come across as an over-the-top, almost childish comedy with a very confusing and jarring ending. Even of those who can enjoy movies where a deeper meaning is meant to be found, the bizzare imagery of dream sequences and the general outlandishness of the plot may be too much, and it could come across as over-ambitious. One problem many people seem to have is the ending; if you enjoy the movie but are confused as to the point of the ending, it may be worth re-watching the final 20 minutes or so, and paying close attention to every shot and line. It does take some piecing together to reach the intended conclusion, but once you reach it, or go to the imdb forums to be told, it is a very well-handled, subtle ending to the movie.

It is here that it is solely personal opinion. I enjoyed the face value comedy side of the film, and was taken in by the deeper undertones of the plot. I did take some time to fully comprehend the ending, but eventually I found it a heartwarming if very odd movie. I can understand why some people would give this a very low rating, but I give it 9/10.