Steven to G6 (in German)

I was at work again today, this time a more reasonable time yet still a stupid 5 hour shift. After an arduous silent journey I finally made it to work where I was reunited with my iPod after a horrendous 15 hours without it. Work went fine; pretty quiet but the five hours went by fairly fast. I had another fraught phonecall where a woman was screaming at me because someone else didn't do as they promised; an offence clearly of my doing.

Finishing work I walked to town in the beautiful weather. It's a rare day where it was sunny and warm without being too muggy. I despise mugginess. My bus home was packed with tourists and there was a girl sitting in front of me who I noticed was wearing a cross around her neck. I was surprised to see that it was affixed upside-down; a symbol almost universally associated with anti-christianity in sometimes rather extreme forms. There is the possibility that she is associated with some sort of Antichrist association but the fact that the inverted cross was emblazoned with pink faux-jewels matching her pink shirt and handbag does suggest that she is not of this persuasion. I didn't have the heart, or indeed the courage, to inform her of this so let her carry on in blissful ignorance.

Tonight I watched the other night's edition of Top Gear. It's one of my favourite programs and I'm glad it's back. I was literally roaring with laughter at the Reliant Robin review by Jeremy Clarkson; it's one of the funniest things I've seen on TV this year.

Last thing I did tonight was sign into my myspace account. That sounds like a really boring thing to blog but I haven't done so for two years. I did this because a friend in England was winging that no one has added her on her new myspace. It was really odd looking back at all my old messages. There were all the old surveys that got passed around and the messages opened a lot of memories, ranging from "good times" to "very poor times" because there was literally all aspects of my life summed up in some of these messages. It was very reminiscent looking back but I don't really have rose-tinted thoughts of these times.

Song of the day is "danza di fuoco e ghiaccio" by Rhapsody of fire. Allow Christopher Lee to finish his talking for the first minute and it turns into a really good song. It's highly pretentious I know but I don't care. I love the fusion of the almost medieval sounds with classical guitar and the occasional moments of metal. If anything I prefer the first half of it.

Oh joy.

Today I was back at work. To welcome me back was a ridiculous rota consisting of atrocious working times. Today I had 3-8pm, meaning the entire day was reserved by work (having to get the 1 o clock bus into town), but I will recieve hardly any money to compensate for it. Apart from my complete disgruntledness about being there in the first place, it went okay. Getting there ridiculously early I sat in the staff room and started writing some music for Milk Paton as I am now helping Drew with it. Don't know how successful I'll be but it's fun.

My short time at work was fine, I had no customers that particularly annoyed me, save for one cantankerous old man on the phone who literally expected me to fix his washing machine. Literally, he said "why can't you do it!?" when I told him an engineer would be available within a couple of days.

After work I had to get a taxi in order to catch my bus, dwindling my already menial earnings. Once seated I discovered that I had managed to leave my iPod and the notes I'd written for Milk Paton music at work, so was deeply gutted and still am in all fairness.

At home I "bought" Fruity Loops, a sort of synthesiser program for maing music. It's extremely un-intuitive to use and I'm not sure how much I like the results yet: I find the options a bit too restrictive for what I'm trying to achieve with the music I'm writing, so may have to investigate some other programs.

Song of the day is to repent for the synthesisers I have been grappling with for the last couple of hours; to risk sounding like a snob, it is "real music", i.e. something played by a human on an instrument, nothing more. Naturally this instrument is a piano, and it's a song that I really like. It's "river flows in you" by Yurima. The video shows a picture of Twilight because it was shortlisted to be the 'Bella's Lullaby' music but for some reason they chose Carter Burwell's dreary, boring slurry. I'm not a fan of the Bella's Lullaby music. I learnt to play this a while ago and in doing so found out it is actually really badly written: it has a four chord progression, repeated for the entirety of the song with no alterations at all. It's basically the same three themes used over and over again with the occasional flourish. However, those themes are very nice to listen to and it's simplicity allows the player to put their own ideas into it. I'm not sure if this was Yurima's intention or if it is just a poorly written song, but I really enjoy playing it and it's lovely to hear in this, it's robotic, 'perfect' form, once or twice before you get bored of it. Really cynical review of it, but I have a really strong love/hate feeling about it. I hate it, but as soon as I'm on a piano I will without fail play it and love doing so.

Suck my metal machine

This morning was fairly productive; I went to town with my family in order to purchase various wares for our new house. It went off to a great start, forcing my family to listen to Vince DiCola in the car. I do feel I did them a favour in doing so, as not only did they quite like the music, but the shopping went very successfully; clearly a direct effect of the determination the Training Montage music gives you. For some reason I was compelled to buy DJ Hero in town, which it turns out is actually pretty good. It's only really marred by the fact that I don't like about half of the songs, but the other half are really clever.

Once home, we watched the England v. Germany match. I had low hopes for England but obviously was supporting them. It was horrendous; literally no English defence. By the time it reached 4 - 1 at about 75 minutes I gave up. I will mention the clear goal that was disallowed; it could be that they lost it after that, hence not scoring more and conceding. It's no sort of excuse; either way England played awfully and as such are out of the World Cup so it's all immaterial. I'm just glad that we didn't lose by that one goal as it would have been a major shitstorm. After the match was the obligatory slurry of ignorance with people slagging off England, rejoicing in their loss, and such. I was fighting back against this but it eventually turned pretty damned hurtful, with remarks becoming very venomous and personal so I switched my laptop off feeling pretty deflated for seeing how people I would have previously classed as friends turned on me purely over football.

I moved on from this though, and cycled down to Drew's for an evening of banter. It turned out really well, as we headed off to the Benleva, where there was a total of: Drew, Robert, Beast, Darroch, Joph, Angus, Stephanie, Laura and Ben. On leaving here, Robert and Laura departed (separately of course), and the remainder of us headed off to the retail park for Burger King and Tesco Banter. It sounds completely inane but it was literally 100 times better than just sitting in Drum for the night. I got into Darroch's car with Angus for the journey home and we broke off from Joph's car, taking the normal route, to go around Kiltarlity way to Drum. Along this midnight run we had one of those deep conversations which covers everything completely honestly and freely; one of those conversations you ONLY have with great friends. One moment of beautiful genius came from Angus who was discussing how you should just live your life to have fun and enjoy yourself. He said "we were all pushed head-first through someone's vagina at one point; life is fucking weird from the beginning. You've got 80 years or so, so just make the best of it." While it's funny it's also a wonderful viewpoint that in its own way makes complete sense. I was born by caesarian section, but that's by the by; the point remains. This lift meant I didn't even have to cycle home, so it's been as near to an idyllic evening as possible while still confined to Drum.

Song of the day comes from when I bought DJ Hero. I'd seen it on special offer at Gamestation, but decided to "think about it". Sure enough, I went back and just as I picked up the box and started uncertainly heading for the cash desk this started playing. It's Metal Machine by Sabaton and it's an awesome song. They supported Dragonforce when I saw them in December and they were mind-blowingly brilliant.

Flame On!

Another day off, which started normally. After getting hooked on Challenge with Takeshi's Castle and the Crystal Maze I got into yet more packing. It's strange seeing my room slowly depleting, and it will be bizarre to see it as an empty shell.

This evening I cycled down to Drum firstly to drop off a CD at Drew's, which I found in amongst my various things; it's called "Essential Hi-Tech Sound effects", released by the BBC in 1984. It features the "hi-tech" sounds of computer hard drives graunching, various cutting-edge blooping sounds of start-ups and the like. Some of them should fit well into Milk Paton and it's even better because the booklet explains that the sounds are all encouraged to be used in productions so it's completely legit as well.

After this I went to the cinema with Danny Angus and Jamie. We saw 'Get Him to the Greek', the sequel/spin-off to 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', which I did enjoy back when it was out. After the funny opening it seems like it's not going to be very good, but it slowly progresses, struggling to find a balance between setting the scene and characters, and keeping it funny and entertaining, as many films like it struggle with. Once the scene is all set it is very entertaining and very funny, and by the last third it is hilarious. Some of the funniest bits feature Kanye West as a record executive, completely taking the mickey out of himself; a move I would never have predicted him doing. It wasn't such a shock to me liking it, as I quite like Russel Brand; the star of the movie; but even Angus who grimaced at the mention of his name said it was really good. It was a really pleasant surprise, as even I didn't expect much of it, but we all thought it was great. 8/10.

Song of the day is something I stumbled across on my iPod this morning. It's Beelzeboss by Tenacious D. It kind of completely spoils the last scene of their movie, the Pick Of Destiny, so here be spoilers, but if you've seen it or don't care, it's an amazing song. The "we are the D, we are the D.." section never fails to amaze me; it's all in all a near perfect metal song in my opinion. It's by far the best song from a film containing some pretty damn good music.

Ridiculously excited

I had a day off so spent the morning packing for moving, and headed off for the bus in the afternoon for my driving lesson. However there was a major accident along the A82 meaning the road was completely shut and buses weren't running. Apparently it was three cars in a pile up at Lochend. No doubt one car was trying to overtake and took the other two with it. Now it's Summer it happens so often. Obviously I didn't make it to my lesson and walked back home.

I watched the Brazil v. Portugal match. I say watched; I had it on. It was such a dull stalemate game that I ended up hardly paying any attention to it by the second half.

The biggest achievement of the day really was the amazing lunch I created: since the week's shopping hasn't been done yet there is hardly any food in the house, so I had to be imaginative. I cooked some pasta and after scouring the cupboards, decided on a concoction of cheese, tomato sauce, american mustard and vegetarian worcester sauce. It was a triumph, and certaintly seems like a good step towards student culinary habits if I do go to university.

Song of the day is the Hoosiers' new song. It's called Choices and is a great comeback. The video's pretty funny but if you want to skip to the song, it starts at about 1:15. I love the 80's synth sound to it; it goes really well with his voice I think. It's instantly catchy without being annoying. I heard about the song today via an email from the Hoosiers mailing list. There's a competition of sorts associated with it. They're going to re-record this song, except it will be the longest single ever, coming in at over 40 minutes. They wil achieve this by requesting verses to be written by fans. You submit a verse of your own lyrics and if they decide it's good enough, they'll record it into the song, film it for the video (including your face at the appropriate point), and on the single that they release, your face will be on the cover art; obviously a long with everyone else's faces. I think this is an awesome idea and I immediately started writing something. I have never written lyrics before so it was really difficult, but I eventually came up with something that I was pleased with. I'm not going to post it here because it's pretty humiliating. If anyone bears witness to my lyrics it's then they made it into the song, meaning any mockery that could be extracted from it is negated by my triumph. I plan on writing a few verses over the next couple of weeks to multiply my chances of getting into it, because it's really exciting.

I'm sorry sir, you were served by a moron.

This morning I had another early start at work. The first hour was pretty fraught with trying to negotiate colleagues having not done certain things correctly, leaving us to figure out what was happening whilst an increasingly angry customer leers at the cash desk. I don't blame the customers; it's ridiculous sometimes; but the ones that get really angry invariably blame me when all I'm trying to do is solve the clues dotted around as to what the hell has been done the day before.

After this little while the day went pretty smoothly with all my customers being great, and I got some decent sales. There was a big argument with a colleague, the first since I've worked there, as I try to be fairly friendly to everyone, avoiding those I don't particularly like until they speak to me, where I act civil. However, this person has really bugged me recently and they took it slightly too far. It's not an anti-anti-england rant again; it was about a whole different matter. Ah well, it's not a great loss. Move on and get over it?.. complete.

This evening I watched the Japan v. Denmark game. After my rekindled love of Japan which continued throughout today I was rooting for them, but not very hopeful. However, they were awesome. They didn't play amazingly, but they were awesome. Honda's first goal was incredible.

Pretty uneventful day really, but I've got three days off now and am delighted at this.

Song of the day is a song I rediscovered this evening. It's "They" by Jem. Wikipedia informs me it was released in 2005; I remember thinking how odd a song it was back then and it still is. It was mildly popular 'back in the day' and Jem completely disappeared as far as I'm aware, but I heard it again on the Pantenne advert a few months ago and every time I remembered the song so well but couldn't find it a name. Eventually I remembered some lyrics from it and google did the rest. Pretty cool song; dreamy and catchy; win win for me.

Otaku poof

Today by some lucky draw I had the day off, meaning I was able to watch the England game. I started off by packing a ridiculous amount of boxes in preparation for moving house, hopefully in the next two or three weeks. Even though I spent a good few hours doing this and filled many boxes, I still have loads of stuff cluttering my room. Aside from the obvious benefits of a larger house, actually IN Drum, moving is a great opportunity to sort though my stuff and sell what I don't want any more. As such I'm going to have an epic car boot stall sometime in the coming months.

Finally 3 o clock came and I was sat glued to the TV for England vs. Slovenia. England didn't command the game, but they played endlessly better than they did in their last two matches. Winning 1-0, it wasn't a walkover but they were the better team I think. After the match was the obligatory slew of anti-english babbling on facebook which really riled me up and it's only in the last hour that I've calmed down about it. I've covered it pretty concisely on her already so I won't rant on too much.

This evening's match of Germany vs. Ghana was in my opinion very close. Germany had that one brilliant goal but otherwise they didn't really outdo Ghana very much I thought.

Last thing this evening I was looking around about Japan, as the plans for going on holiday there later this year fell through, but I still really want to go. I was reading up on the etiquette and general politeness that you should conform to to fit in well, and I love it. My wanting to go to Japan goes far beyond my weaboo liking of Anime, I love most things I have heard about the general culture. I read a whole article on hitch-hiking in Japan, and it's a really common thing. Someone WILL pick you up and they will treat you as a guest, refusing any help towards tolls or fuel, likely offering you food, drink or even a place to sleep along the way. Gifts are highly thought of, so if you carry a gift (preferably food-based) in case of such an occasion, they will be delighted and may even become a good friend of yours. Another snippet I read was that if your photo is taken with someone, they will usually share the photo with you, either by giving you a copy or emailing you in the future: even in simply taking a photo with you, there is a procedure of friendliness and politeness that is why I love the culture so much. I'm now even more keen on travelling to Japan in the future once I have some money that isn't reserved for driving lessons and buying a car.

Song of the day is One Summer's Day by Joe Hisaishi. It's from the soundtrack to Spirited Away, and this is the composer playing a solo piano version of it. He's one of my favourite composers, my favourite pianist as he has a very melodic and emotional sound, but incorporates unusual timing and unexpected notes without detracting from the relaxing feeling of the music. Most of his music; both orchestral and piano; can be listened to both to relax and as something to enjoy in the sense of properly listening to everything happening. It's quite rare music can be fully appreciated both ways.

A cocky wee shite.

This morning was an unwelcome early start, but I just managed to hurl myself out of bed in time to get the bus. Once there it was nowhere near as bad as yesterday; most of my customers were fine, except for one man who went mental at me for not having a fridge in stock. He treated the loss of his ninety nine pound sale as though I should have been grvelling for his forgiveness, personally walking to the nearest Currys store to stock the fridge, and carrying it all the way back before lovingly wiping my blood sweat and tears from the casing and offering my life to him as a retribution for my insolense of being unable to sell him the fridge.

However, the true standout story of work was a woman who came in with her husband and son. I don't mean to sound likea snob, making harsh judgements based on appearance, but they were "rough as fuck" as some might say. It was not me who served the distinguished clan, but I was witness to the event. The woman had bought a Dyson on our website two months ago and decided she didn't like it any more so wanted to swap it for something else. A brief lesson trading laws follows: an item bought on the website may be returned to a store as per the usual regulations which are; if it is unwanted it must be returned within 7 days, unopened. If it is faulty it may be returned to store within 28 days, or after this time it must be fixed by the manufacturer (this applies to high value goods at least). Based on these clear guidelines, she was told that a return was not possible. She then altered her story to assertain that it was actually faulty, not picking anything up. So the assistant helping her; a woman who is not to be messed with; threw some scraps on the carpet, plugged the Dyson in and tested it out. Sure enough, with one swipe of the machine, every last rogue particle was removed from the floor. From this point it all became rather confused as the woman decided on letting on to the fact that she has recently had a stroke, regardless of her complete physical ability, as though this would chance the trading laws in any way. The lady serving her had had enough by now and called in the manager. He is amazing with customers I'll firstly add. The customer started going mental at him when he confirmed what the previous assistant had stated, and started swearing, demanding a replacement, getting quite offensive. To this, he simply said "You take your vacuum cleaner. And you leave my store." She then flipped, literally flying at him, being restrained by her companions, screaming at him "You sell me shit and won't replace it!!" "You fucking speccy bastard!" "Take my fucking Dyson and replace it you *etc, etc, etc*" By the time the original assistant was on the phone to the police the two men dragged the woman out, along with the perfectly well functioning Dyson.

Later on, a general discussion about nothing in particular lead to Sandra, the 'woman not to be messed with' suddenly informed me "When you started working here I though you were a cocky wee shite." Discussing how she now doesn't think this. It completely surpried me at first and now I find it hilarious.

After jogging most of the way to the bus station from Currys (partly because of my getting fit plan, and partly because I was late) my bus journey home was eventful. At the back of the bus were two female friends who I'd probably better not name, and two guys in their twenties. After about three minutes of being on the bus it became apparent that these guys were drunk, loud and cocky. They noticed the nearby females and resorted to the sort of discussion that really annoys me; literally saying what they would plan on doing with said females and such, being general arses with no concept of tact or social acceptability. At Lochend the driver pulled over as he had somehow noticed they were drinking beer on the bus; an illegal act; so told them to either get rid of it or get off. They did dispose of the drink, and at this point discovered that the females were 15 and 16, compared to the guys aged 23 and 25. After these two shocks, they were somewhat stumped and I was having a great time. Their discussion became a lot more low key after then, actually coming across pretty sound, but I remained pretty furious about the occasion because it reminded me how disgusting some people are.

Song of the day is an amazing, but very short song by Andrew WK. I was walking along the side of Loch Ness and this song was playing. It's really powerful and motivational; it just makes you want to have fun.

Ups and downs.

Today started amazingly. I had the realisation this morning that while I want to get fit this year, the mere thought is not enough. So I downloaded the Rocky IV soundtrack to my iPod, put the training montage on repeat (by Vince DiCola of course), and somehow this gave me the stamina that I severely lack, to jog to Lewiston. By most standards it's not a massive feat but I'm pretty unfit. Strangely, after ten minutes or so of finishing I felt great, and was very optimistic about my day at work. It did start well, with some really friendly customers who gave me some awesome sales. However, it ended up being a very annoying day. There was countless problems that customers had, most of them created by some colleague being incapable of a simple procedure, creating massive problems and confusion when we have to fix it. There was a customer who was complaining about his cheap bog-standard laptop being precisely as described and when I gave him advice on how to prolong battery life and make it run faster he sneered that I was talking rubbish and stormed out declaring that he would never shop with us again and I was useless etc. However this illiterate pile of dirt had blown into the store, I brushed it away and carried on.

At my break I got a phonecall from Matt; his metal festival on Saturday has now been cancelled due to the venue all of a sudden kicking him in the balls by cancelling all upcoming shows, leaving him hundreds of pounds out of pocket and owing bands money for travel and accomodation. I was gutted for myself as I was really looking forward to the weekend down in Edinburgh and doing photos, but I was mortified for Matt as, along with the money, he has put months of planning into it and now it's all gone, completely through no fault of his own.

There were still some cool customers but today at least they were overshadowed by the annoyances and frustration. When the time came to close, I had to get a taxi to get my bus and I was sent the coolest taxi driver ever. He was listening to ZZ Top pretty loud and I commented on how good the sound system was: the speakers were incredible for car ones. He was clearly chuffed with my praise as he told me they were hardly on before cranking the volume up to ear-splitting levels as we hurtled through town. With my ears now bleeding he calmly declared "good driving music" as La Grange hit the main riff.

I did very little this evening; I heard about the North Korea vs. Portugal match. I did sky+ it but I can't bring myself to watch the horrific 7-0 defeat. I caught the last while of the Spain vs. Honduras and it was ridiculously boring.

All in all it's been a fairly mixed day, I'm really disappointed about Edinburgh, like I said, largely because of all the work Matt had put into it.

Song of the day is difficult to pick as I've had Training Montage stuck in my head all day, but I'll go for the other song that I listened to on my way to work. I may have been spotted singing along to it on the dual carriageway. It's by Oingo Boingo, my favourite band, led by Danny Elfman who is now famous as a composer, writing the Simpsons Theme, Spiderman, and almost everything Tim Burton does. Grey Matter's from their 1982 album, pretty much halfway through their 23 year span.

G

Dispatches: The great carpet atrocity.

This morning was very productive but rather disheartening in an odd way. I went carpet shopping with my parents; not a particularly rib-ticklig experience, but a wholly necessary one in moving into a newly built house. The first store, General Geroge, was little more than a brisk stroll around the aisles as it was ridiculously expensive. A massive Union Jack rug did catch my eye for 80 quid though, which I'll come back to later. Carpet Right was more useful, featuring carpets of a more affordable variety. I was drawn to the offcuts along the edge of the shop as some of them were large enough to fit my new room. However, looking at the amazing prices of them carefully revealed some interesting facts. One offcut was priced at about 150 pounds; a massive reduction from 330-ish. However, if you go round to the proper off-the-shelf roll that they cut to your specifications and isn't in any way clearance, you will get the same length for just under 120... Where they got the "list price" from was the supposed RRP of the carpet; a price which they never have and never will sell the carpet at. I was pretty shocked at this misleading offer, luring you into paying more for it essentially. It's really on the edge of trading standards laws; I know a little about them to counteract the constant slew of trading standards threats people throw at me when I won't give them a free TV or something. I digress however, I bought a black carpet, job done. It cost me an eye watering 100 pounds which is why I was disheartened for the beginning of the day: I hate buying things I don't particularly like or want; I needed a carpet but didn't specifically want one. Ah well, I have since manned up and got over it.

Work went okay. It was moderately busy so I wasn't that bored, and Canon sent me a package of some POS and such which contained little booklets on their current range of cameras and printers. The awesome part is that they were each attatched to a cool little spring-loaded drawstring. I was literally kept amused for my entire five and a half hour shift by swinging and springing this around. Amazing freebie.

After work I went with Dad to B&Q as in my parents' shopping they had spied a Union Jack rug very similar to the 80 quid one I mentioned earlier. Only difference was that, while slightly smaller, it was a quarter of the price at 20 quid. I snapped it up and became far less melancholy about my carpet buying expedition.

This evening I watched the World Cup surprisingly. Finally a match that went as expected as Brazil destroyed the Ivory Coast. They were playing brilliantly I thought. I was literally screaming at the TV when Kaka got his red card though; the initial yellow was undeniable but the second was a joke. Keita ran into him, and rather than being a grown man he flung himself to the floor and started holding his face, crying like a bitch. The replay made this totally clear and when the referee dished the card out I was furious.

Final part of the day was in my general facebook checking I noticed a link from Morven to a song she says she is "obsessed with at the moment". I clicked it out of boredom, expecting to be greatly underwhelmed, if not annoyed, by the resulting music. However I was intrigued by the intro, and it slowly progressed to be really good. On my second listen my mind was blown and I now love the song. Naturally it is song of the day. I can't even explain what it is that's so good, it's just a fanastic, really original song.

Subhuman Banter.

Today I was due to be at work but I woke up feeling pretty awful so I did not go in. I spent the morning generally lazing around, watching the Crystal Maze and I learnt a piano solo of Unicron's Theme from the original Transformers Movie by Vince DiCola. It's a much slower piece than the upbeat ones I have mentioned on here and it is extremely dramatic with really unusual sounds. These make it perfect for piano and I really like playing something relatively easy but written in such a way that if you add power to it in the style you play it, it sounds really good. I plan on getting a better set-up sorted out in my room at the new house so I can start recording some of these songs on piano and putting them on youtube.

In the afternoon I got a phonecall from Drew and I went down to his for the day: the main reason people were there was Darroch filming his parts for Milk Paton, which is really shaping up to be awesome. Steven appeared later on and the highlight of the day was Darroch being completely soaked in cold water in order to film a rainy scene: there is no effect Drew can do with his after-effects wizardry to simulate wetness. I have every right to laugh now because sometime in the next few weeks I'll be filming a part for it and I will also be drenched for the same reason.

This evening I was gutted that Cameroon were knocked out of the World Cup purely because their name is just like mine.

The best part of the evening was finding the track that I'll have as song of the day: it's a mashup of Lady Gaga - Telephone and Sex Pistols - God Save the Queen. It's just as odd as it sounds but in a bizarre, quite funny way, it actually works out quite well.

This post is dedicated to that spherical bird.

This morning I had another appointment with the psychiatrist. It went pretty well today and a major point of the time there was figuring out that my teacher from Primary School, Mrs MacPhearson, was most likely a major contributor as without blabbing on too much a lot of the low-level but constant bullying she did to me (as well as a lot of other kids) has clear links to a lot of the things I percieve through my condition. On leaving the hospital I had mixed feelings; partly at peace for figuring out why I have the problems and therefore that it's not literally something wrong with me; but I was also pretty gutted that something relatively low-level that happened to me as a kid has had so much impact on me nearly a decade later.

The afternoon was spent packing things for moving whilst watching the USA match. It was pretty horiffic and it really should have been 3-2. Why that goal was disallowed I have no idea. One thing I noticed from the match was that when the camera cuts to a person in the crowd it amuses me how they wave at the screen rather than in the general direction of the camera, as though they are having some sort of out-of-body experience trying to garner the attention of themselves yet constantly having themselves looking away in a tragic display of limbo. Until the camera cuts back to the pitch and normal physical being is resumed.

Needless to say I was distracted from the packing during this match and after it finished I did a much better job with the 1986 Transformers Movie soundtrack blasting out.

This evening I obviously watched the England game. It was the most frustrating 90 minutes I have ever spent outside of work. England seemed capable of being good but played so flippantly, either as though they thought it was in the bag or in some state of apathy. Either way I was surprised when it continued through the second half; I'd have thought Capello would have kicked their arses a bit, but ah well. By next wednesday it is required that England have better strategies and start to give a shit as they now have to win their last match to qualify for the next round. I already mentioned on facebook who my man of the match is: see picture below.



The few minutes this hero bird was perched atop the goals in a defiant protest against the faggotry occuring on the pitch was literally the highlight of the whole match for me.

Song of the day is from the Transformers soundtrack. It's by Vince DiCola, the same composer who did the Rock IV Training montage. It's called Escape and it plays during an escape scene. There's really not much more to be said than it's amazing music, probably my favourite out of an incredible soundtrack.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow don't be alarmed, now.

After getting home at 3am this morning I was shattered when I awoke at the 9am that seems to be hardwired into my brain. Due to this I was incapable of doing anything requiring thought such as moving my hands to play the piano, so I sat watching youtube videos all morning. Luckily I did eventually wake up as I had my second driving lesson this afternoon. It went pretty well again, driving around Inverness doing junctions and roundabouts. The most worrying moment was not my fault; we were driving along a suburban dual carriageway type of road on the right hand lane as the left was mostly taken up with parked cars. Suddenly this woman started driving headlong towards me. I immediately assumed I had made a terrible mistake even though it was about the fifth circuit I had done on this stretch of road, each time taking the same route. She calmly stopped her car in my path and started rearranging her handbag or something before visibly noticing her idiocy. This isn't a woman-driver rant, just a stupid-driver-who-happened-to-be-female rant. After an otherwise largely smooth lesson I had the opportunity to finish the lesson by driving home. It was great getting a taster of driving home and as I currently have very basic control of the car I set myself a target to drive less erratically than 90% of the tourists you encounter this time of year. I believe I achieved this goal, maintaining a realistic speed all the way, keeping on my bit of the road and only screwing up on the terrifying bend just before the castle. Not bad for a second lesson I feel. Just need to keep practising.

This evening I learnt Stairway to Heaven on the Ukulele and watched the France Mexico game. I had no preference as to who would win but I would have predicted France. Goodness me was I wrong. They were atrocious. There is no more to say on the subject.

Song of the day is from a band I discovered over the last few days. I say "over the last few days": I heard them on Kawaii Radio two days ago, and found a download for all of their albums. This took until this evening to complete. Of what I've heard so far, I really like this song.

IT'S A TRAP!

Today I was working one of my previously common shifts; 11-8. This meant that it was actually worthwhile getting the bus in etc as more hours = more money. However, it turned out to be an atrocious day: I was really caught up by some things that had been done completely wrong by certain colleagues. It's really getting me annoyed, the way some people seem incapable of some simple tasks. I'm not getting at every one of my colleagues as though I'm all high and mighty; it's just a select number to whom this opinion is pretty much the thought throughout the store. The problems I had early on in the day coupled with all the annoyances and unhappiness caused by the job over the least couple of weeks meant I was pretty much ready to walk out by 1pm. I didn't but I am now becoming more and more keen on searching for a new job.

The evening was lined up to be a dull one, but I had a phonecall from Drew outlining plans for poker. I did indeed go along to this and it turned out to be a night that can best be described as "interesting". It was certainly productive and sporadically entertaining. I did not win the poker; that went to Goth Tom. After poker we briefly visited the Benleva before the remaining humans retired to Kitchen Banter. This was more of a planning session than general banter because we're all sick of being stuck in Drum and need to find ways of seeing more of the world. That doesn't mean spending more weekends in Inverness because it's just as putrid as Drum, only in different ways.

My eventual walk home at 2:30am was extremely pleasant as it was at the point where it was becoming light; a walk I have never really done before.

Song of the day is one that was described in the Kitchen Banter as being perfect for use in a simulator. It is the Jurassic Park theme and it is one of the most epic movie themes ever.

I am the one and only.

I had another stupid 2-7 shift today so again had the morning to myself. Unlike yesterday, where I achieved nothing, I learned the Crystal Maze theme on piano which I'm really chuffed about. It actually works on piano which I was slightly surprised about. This took me up to the time I needed to head off to work.

Once at work it was a dull, slow, boring day, but nowhere near the frustration and annoyance of yesterday. I heard a lot about the new Xbox 360, which Fraser correctly described as the Playstation 360. It's basically the Xbox 360 slim with a few PS3 features added on such as the glossy black appearance, touch panel buttons, inbuilt wireless, etc. The bigger announcement was for Kinetic, the new name for Project Natal. I was under the impression that it was a new eye toy, but have learnt that it features an infra-red camera too, meaning it has potential for being brilliant. I remain a tiny biy cynical as when Microsoft are involved, it is either not as good as it could be, or there is some sort of sting involved in acquiring it, most commonly in your wallet.

This evening I watched the North Korea v. Brazil match which was AMAZING. North Korea were brilliant considering they were playing against one of the two favourites. Brazil's first goal was no more than a fluke, meaning Brazil were really pushed to achieve their 2-1 victory. Against Portugal and The Ivory Coast, I think North Korea could be a fair contender based on tonight.

Of course, I say this with very little real knowledge of football. In the sky sports dream team league we're running for fun at work I picked the names that sounded coolest, and as such am currently placed second out of about thirty. Team Destroyer will be victorious.

Song of the day is in tribute to my Robot Unicorn Attack score this morning of 111,908. Also it's a great song.

You haven't seen yellow: UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN YELLOW!

Today started fine. I wasn't working until 2pm so I had the whole morning to myself in which I did nothing. On the bus I met Paul and Robert. We discussed Paul's plans to take over the world, calling it "Paul", and the fact that under this regime, everyone will worship him and have his picture in their houses. Also he wishes to become the head of the BBC and rename it the BBP; British Broadcasting Paul. Once in town we all headed off to Currys where Robert was intent on seeing the new Sharp Quattro, featured in the advert I quoted in the title. Basically, every colour tv for the last 50-or-so years has displayed pixels of red, blue and green. From these primary colours of light it is possible to create the entire spectrum of colour. Sharp have decided this is not enough and have inserted a new fourth pixel of light; yellow. In theory this will make absolutely no difference as when the whole spectrum is available already, no more can be added. When we compared the quattro against a regular LG we were astonished to discover that we were completely right. Except for the fact that, being made by Sharp, the Quattro had a far lower quality picture than the LG as they make shit TV's. Their walk to Currys was worthwhile though, as they got to sample the amazing Panasonic 3D TV. Since it came into store I have often been watching things and thinking to myself "I wish this was in 3D." That is how effective it is. As Robert pointed out, if there is a "format war" for what type of 3D is used in the near future, it is absolutely pointless as what we have on display is really as good as it can get. If you're sceptical about it, please come in ans I will show you. Not only will this prove me right but your coming into the store will inject something interesting into my dull days.

This moves me onto my next point. I started work, on my ridiculous 5 hour shift. My first customer bought a TV; from the entire wall of TV's he chose the one for 199.99. Fine; I went upstairs, got him one and put it through the till. "That's 199.99 please." At this point he was shocked and appalled that I had the audacity to charge him the price clearly stated on the ticket. He hadn't asked for discount as many customers do; he had simply EXPECTED me to throw money at him in return for his godlike graciousness in blessing me with his monarchial presence in my lowly, commoner's store. "WHAT!?! There's no discount!?!" he interjected, without a hint of humor or sarcasm I hasten to add: "No. It's 199.99" I repeated, not at all impressed at his arrogance. He continued to object, remarking on our advertising of a sale, to which I stated the blindingly obvious in that the sale tv's are marked as such and the ticket prices are what you pay. He was miffed, and grudgingly accepted my heinous act of charging him for the TV.

This story really set the tone for the day; I had a rotten time and by the end of the day I was really sick of it. The highlight of the day was changing the google homepage on the till computers to the iGoogle England World Cup theme so that whenever my colleagues (many of whom are of the pursuasion that England is a figure of hatred) opened up google, they were confronted with an array of England flags and such.

My final customer was scouting for a TV, quite possibly a 3D one. I showed him the Panasonic, explaining it is the best one available just now. He was apparently capable of paying the 2,300 price tag for it but insisted on haggling as he was only at the point of shopping around, not buying just now. "So, how much can I get it for if I haggle and such?". Firstly I informed him that the ticket price was what it would cost. He then moaned about how he's not wanting to spend so much on it when there's not much 3D stuff to watch on it just now. It was at this point, after the day from hell, that I was most proud of myself in my rebuttal. I took what he said and flipped it around; I said "Well, it's because it's so new and because so few companies are putting 3D out that it costs this much; there's no competition. If you wait six months or so, then the prices will probably start falling as more and more 3DTV's come onto the market." He was stumped by this as I knew for a fact that he wanted his new TV in a matter of a few weeks, not half a year. He said something about a "hard bargain" and walked off, still cheery but visibly defeated. I ended my day victorious.

This evening I finished off my Crystal Maze Theme piano version on sibelius and will hopefully learn the majority of it in the morning.

Song of the day is the Rasmus - Time to Burn. Everyone knows "In the Shadows", but the album that song comes off of; Dead Letters; is genuinely brilliant. This is one of my favourite tracks from it; I particularly like the synth intro and of course the riff. I love how they have a very bass-driven sound, with bass being the only guitar playing in the verses.

Commercial Idiomaticness

The title is somewhat important as it is the phrase that Pam used in a post on my facebook wall which outsmarted me: I was forced to google it in order to find out it was actually meaningful and relevant. Well played, Pam.

Work was fairly busy today, and I thought I had sold a lot of things but when I checked my figures for the day it turned out I had actually sold lots of things worth very little. Gutted. It was a fairly short shift of six hours so it should have gone by quickly but in fact it took forever. It was actually rather tedious when you combine these two points.

After work I went with my family to our new house where the very first stages of habiting a new build are commencing; a couple of carpets are being laid and my brother has a lightshade in the form of a paper earth. Not quite livable yet but it'll get there soon enough.

After watching the first properly exciting match of the world cup (Germany 4-0 Australia), I spent my evening making piano versions of Crystal Maze and the Red Dwarf theme. Neither are finished but they are two of the best TV Themes ever; I would probably say Red Dwarf is THE best theme ever, especially the full version of it which I shall say is song of the day:

Robert Green: minus one.

Work today went pretty averagely; it wasn't very busy so I spent most of my short five hour shift walking around doing nothing. This time was lightened towards the end by the appearance of Jamie Miller, Ewan and Shannon. They hang around for a fairly long time, which injected much-needed banter into my day whilst making it look as though I was serving these "customers". Double Win.

This evening I headed to town with Danny, Catriona and Florence. I did yesterday mention Pauline's presence was planned, but due to her exponential amount of fail, she pulled out at the last minute. Nonetheless, we went to Wotherspoons where we watched the World Cup as a minority of England supporters. Oddly enough, two men sat next to us and seemed to be responding similarly to us. I spoke to them and discovered they too were supporting England; they were as shocked as me to find fellow supporters, to which I explained that "I am English, and my friends are sensible." On that subject though, it actually stunned me just how much people care about England losing. It's such a petty thing that I can't believe you have grown men sitting in a pub willing a particular team to lose. I guarantee that if I'd asked them why they wanted England to lose, literally 9/10 of them will have no reason; it's just a pathetic stint of racist ignorance hard-wired into so many around here. I briefly spoke to James, Darroch's brother, in Drum beforehand, where we discussed the world cup; he interestingly pointed out that while he cares so little about the World Cup, there is a small part of him that is willing England to win simply to make these ignoramuses unhappy; the obvious flipside to people with the mentality to find pleasure in willing a team to lose. Moving on however, the game was pretty interesting. I kind of feel England played a bit better, but that's all immaterial because at the end of the day we only drew 1-1. The ONLY reason this happened is bloody Robert Green with his atrocious "save". Thankfully, we managed to stop many more goal attempts, because I came close to a heart attack every time the ball neared him, let alone was kicked straight at him. We had loads of attempts, but whilst many missed, a good few were on target, but USA's goalkeeper seemed to be doing a pretty good job.

Moving on from football, I wasn't keen on the amount of people and noise in Wotherspoons so I suggested we move on to somewhere else. We did, and ended up in Ash, the bar next to the Train Station, previously featured here when me and Darroch intercepted a Masquerade Ball. It was really nice there, and we all had cocktails. I was in my element there, as it was posh enough to be impressed but laid back enough to relax.

The bus home featured guest appearances from Jamie and James Redmond. It was Jamie who created a plethora of awkward silences with his odd views on people who go on a murderous rampage. Less said the better really, but we were all slightly disturbed by him, even the bulletproof Redmond. This was followed by a knackering cycle home, and here I am blogging before collapsing on my bed.

Song of the day has no particular relevance, it's just a ridiculously cool song. I have to use an annoying fan-made video. Not to say it's not well done and thought out, it's just not the official video, nor is it Corey Hart in it. EMI are gay and won't let me embed any official videos of it. ENJOY.

Slowly release the clutch: VROOOMM *Stalls*

This morning I went into town where I actually had a great time. I bought an awesome leather chair at the Heart Foundation Furniture Shop for my room in our new house. It is truly the most awesome chair ever created. It's one of those old leather gothic throne types, and the deep red, fading to black leather has been worn over its apparent many years, making it cracked for most of the surface, to me adding to its charm. I love my new chair. I LOVE IT!

Moving on, I found the high street to be filled with market stalls dishing out various wares, and I had an unusually upbeat walk along the high street; with all the sights, smells and sounds of the market with loads of people milling around, and a general happy atmosphere it actually made me really pleased to be in Inverness; a very rare feeling.

I then headed off to my first Driving Lesson. I was doing it around town which turned out to be very daunting as while the majority of it was around the suburbs along Cauldean direction, the final part of the lesson consisted of me driving along Academy Street amidst crazy gridlock of people getting to Rockness. All in all the lesson went pretty well I think, and the title only relates to the first junction I grappled with; I actually stalled very few times in the hour and a half lesson. All I really need is to get more comfortable with actually being in control of a car and then the timing and technique of the clutch control and such will fall into place. It definitely beats sitting around for potentially non-existent buses.

Upon heading back to the High Street I went to the crêpe stall, where some sort of neddish female was clearly distraught at the confusion in the offered delicacies. "That's a pancake!" she hollered in a truly Invernesian high-pitched accent. The exasperated "crêpeierre" as I shall call him (a word I just made up) honestly replied "No; it's a crêpe." This angered the troglodyte, perhaps because it forced her to gain insight into something new; a concept truly inconsiderable. She retorted, clearly insulted "What the FUCK is a crêpe!?". I was brought back to earth in my opinion of Inverness by this and continued my day with a less optimistic view of my surroundings.

This evening I saw the World Cup Opening Ceremony which was nice. It's difficult to say any more than that really; there was nothing amazing about it, it was just nice. I did like the symbology of the fact that human life started in Africa before spreading across the world, and now the human world are "returning home" as they put it. That was really cool. Other than that, R Kelly's song was good, only his performance was pretty pointless because he clearly had a live autotune meaning he could well have been speaking into the microphone for all we know.

It has been an excellent day, I met some awesome people who I didn't mention because I personally feel uncomfortable mentioning people I don't know very well. I'm not at all upset about not being at Rockness because I think I'm having a better time than I would be if I were there. Tomorrow looks like it'll be good as after work I'm going around town with Catriona, Florence, Pauline and Danny.

Song of the day is a bit depressing based on the lyrics, but it's actually really relaxing to listen to and I like it a lot. Keane's first album is one of my favourite albums, and it's a shame that Under the Iron sea and Perfect Symmetry didn't even touch it.

A champion.

Today was pretty cool, as my family got a new house actually IN Drumnadrochit. It's one of the ones built around the old school and while it's far more suitable than where we currently live, it'll also be cool to live nearer the minor things that happen in Drum.

This evening was a bit disappointing, as I cycled down to Drum for the open mic night at the Poacher's Inn. It was very cool to meet Elle for the first time and generally spend time with Drew, Darroch and Jonathan. Also I discovered the fact that (Goth) Tom actually has a really good singing voice. On the downside however, the night had literally no atmosphere. I spent a lot of my time in the pub annoyed. I prefer a more laid back, relaxed atmosphere. After my poor evening I was dreading a half-midnight cycle home when it was revealed that Darroch was accompanied by the Brattmobile, meaning I got an effort-free lift home.

Obviously getting a new house was awesome, but another highlight of the day was achieving a high score on Robot Unicorn Attack, defeating Drew. 85,606 was my score. I am still very proud of it and will have no one take that away from me.

Now for song of the day. I spent the afternoon listening to Kawaii Radio; an online radio station that constantly streams various types of Asian music, mostly japanese, but ranging from Classical/Movie & Amine scores to J-Pop. I love Japanese music because the language suits singing perfectly. Back to the point however, here's a band I discovered on the station; Galneryus. They're a japanese metal band; the singer can sometimes sound a bit over the top but I think that overall they're really good. This is the song that got me into them.

And the winner for best Twilight movie is...

Average start to the day really, got to work long before I was due to start so sat in the staff room playing my DS. Work was, as it has been the last few days, moderately busy. My first customer was a NIGHTMARE however; she was clearly insane, and spent ages being generally annoying. In the afternoon I was walking across to the co-op, through the car park which had roughly 80% of the spaces free. One car however decided to crawl along behind me, revving it's engine until I had walked past a particular space. There is literally nothing different to this space than any of the fifteen spaces within twenty yards of it, only the fact that this solitary one garnered the opportunity for the driver to be an arrogant numbskull. I saw the woman get out of her car who turned out to be a troll. I say this as she was grossly overweight, very ugly and had a look of perpetual curmudgeonliness and self-importance. I did not take a shine to her.

This afternoon Charlie, my manager, left, having been transferred to a different store in Glasgow. It's pretty sad to see him go as although he was only ever temporary, he's been manager for as long as I've been there.

This evening I saw the MTV Movie Awards, which were awesome. It did annoy me how any category featuring Twilight was a dead cert, the only anticipation being created by the one category in which Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson were BOTH nominated. However, it was a great show, the highlight being Tom Cruise dancing with Jeniffer Lopez dressed as his Tropic Thunder character. I was crying with laughter for five minutes after the performance ended it was so funny. Also Christina Aguilera did a medley of songs, rekindling my disgust at the people ignorant enough to say she's copying Lady Gaga.

On a side note, I read in the king of newspapers, the Sun, that one of Britney Spears' bodyguards has quit and is considering legal action due to "sexual harassment" from her. Reportedly, she cavorted around naked in front of him and frequently beckoned him to her room. He not only declined, but is now considering suing her. What a poof. Literally, he must be. What human male would do that? Oh well.

Song of the day today is in tribute to the stupidity of the man in the above story. It shows exactly why he is very wrong to do what he did. Also it is a fantastic song. Pop music was actually once good, children.

Always, I wanna Stevens Gay.

Title courtesy of Drew Cameron.

The day started fairly ordinarily until I got on the bus. I was talking to a local tattoo artist about my new tattoo when a lady nearby joined in, declaring she currently has eight tattoos. She had dreadlocks bunched up into a cool headress sort of hairstyle, some of which were dyes purple, so it wasn't hugely surprising that she had tattoos as well. What was surprising was the fact that she was heading off to her work as a parole officer. It's surprising but very cool.

Work went okay; it was again moderately busy after an apparently horrifically quiet day yesterday which I am glad I missed. An epic win was achieved in booking the weekend off for the 26th & 27th of this month: I will spend said weekend doing photos for Matt's metal festival, Highland Fire Fest. Even better, it is held in the hallowed place of Edinburgh. I'm ridiculously excited about this.

I also booked my first driving lesson for Friday, which I am also very excited about, as I cannot wait to get driving and have freedom from hanging around for buses.

This evening I literally spent ttwo hours on THIS SITE. It's nothing Meatspin-esque, it's a really cool 20-questions machine that WILL guess who you're thinking of. It successfully answered a ridiculous amount of obscure characters, people and even object characters, like the plant from Little Shop of Horrors. The devil's work I say.

Song of the day! (insert fanfare) This is a song I have listened to quite a few times today, kind of spinning off of my 80's revival last night, even though it's a song from Last Year. It's funny but also genuinely awesome.

Stabby, stabby!

This morning I got up at an unearthly hour, especially considering I hardly slept last night and I didn't have work today. The reason for doing so was that I had decided to get my tattoo done. I met Kim and Pam on the bus; Pam was possibly even more insane than usual; and Kim was also getting a tattoo done. Getting it done was much less painful that I had feared, and it took about 45 minutes. The worst part is the outline, done first, which feels much sharper than when the blocking in is done. I is almost like someone is drawing the picture in your arm using a very very sharp knife, feeling it being dragged through your skin. Although this sounds like a horiffic experience, it happens very smoothly and the feeling is actually a little bit relaxing in a bizarre way. The worst part was two hours after it was done, it was really burning and stinging but it went down after a little while.

Oh yeah, I babbled on about having it done and never said WHAT it is. It's the Eye of Horus, an ancient egyptian symbol of protection. It is literally the Sky God Horus' eye. Here's a picture of my tattoo, still a little swollen but it already looks pretty good in my opinion.


This evening I did very little beyond programming the Korg on my DS to play backing for Bedshaped by Keane as I'm going to learn it on piano. A pretentious effort I know. I'm knackered, so I'm going to bed at this ridiculous time of 9:45.

Lastly, song of the day. I had a major 80's twinge this afternoon, listening to various songs I haven't heard in ages. The best of these was Africa by Toto. It's definitely one of my favourite songs ever. Some may recognise the music from Jojo's godawful song "Anything". If you're looking for a laugh, investigate covers of the song by Chris De Burgh and, even worse, Karl Wolf.

Who let the Pagan at the technology?

Today marked the weekly tradition of Stageoach screwing me over; I walked down to Urquhart Castle to get my bus and sure enough after twenty minutes it still hadn't arrived and to add to the occasion it was pouring with rain. So I walked back home and once again had to rely on Dad to get to work. I was there in time and it turned out to be a decent day. It was moderately busy so that I was kept busy mostly but wasn't rushed. Today saw most people putting through the new credit agreements for the first time, which came in the other day. You could tell as it was the tables where bemused customers were sitting as a terrified sales assistant read aloud the information on the screen to themselves repeatedly, making sure that the correct buttons were pressed in granting the customer a loan of the odd thousand pounds or so. They all went fairly well, so it seems it's a success. The failure of the day was the delivery system going down meaning nothing could be sold for delivery; i.e. most of the larger items we sell.

This evening I spent ages looking for a tattoo design as have done on and off for a few months. Suddenly I had a wave of inspiration, having a fantastic idea. I won't explain just now as I'll wait until tomorrow to see if I go ahead with it, and will supply pictures if I do.

Other than that, I spent a very long time playing Robot Unicorn Attack, trying desperately to beat Florence's ridiculously high score of 59,910. I'm pleased with my current success of 58,180. I shall continue my quest tomorrow. After possibly getting "ink'd" as it were.

Today's song has to be this one: the main (and only) theme of Robot Unicorn Attack; Always by Erasure. If you don't know the game, play it NOW: CLICK HERE. It is genuinely the best internet game ever.

Britain's Not Talent(ed)

Today was back to work and it went okay; it was moderately busy for the majority of the day.

Once I got home I watched Britains Got Talent which was atrocious, though I was glad that Spellbound won as they were one of the two good acts along with Tobias Mead. In general it was the usual slurry of anticipation and over-zealous showmanship that I hate about those shows. I sat through the opening making sarcastic remarks, one of which was "the stakes have never been higher". Two minutes later, Ant goes: "The stakes have never been higher." WORD FOR WORD.

After that I went into some sort of rehab in watching random youtube videos of metal and funny things. Also, here is a good song, making it the second day in a row that I have stuck to my plan of song of the day. It is called Vodka. It is about Vodka.

I'm Neil Oliver; these aren't my eyes

Title courtesy of Darroch. Read it in Neil Oliver's voice.

Now switch back to your normal reading voice. I'd hate to be responsible for people being unable to stop reading things in Neil Oliver's voice.

This morning saw another appointment at New Craigs, which was somewhat frustrating this time as the last few days have been awful for the attacks and such, so the undeniable fact that it is something that will take a lot of work to possibly get over was not what I wanted to hear. It ended on good terms though, so I'm not slipping into a loathing view of the psychiatrist or anything.

In the afternoon I went to town with Pauline and Catriona where we had coffee and a general catch-up. Speaking especially to Catriona, hearing of her University life, coupled with my weekend in Edinburgh have made me once again consider University, even to do some theory course in film just as something I am interested in. It's probably worth applying later on in the year at least just to see what's out there. It was great to catch up though, it was a good few hours where we just talked about mostly everything of importance.

Finally this evening I went down to the Benleva for the pub quiz. I was in a team with Catriona and Florence, and to cut a long horrific story short, we came 11th out of 17 teams, with a score of 51. The 17th place team was however, Darroch, Beast, Goth Tom and Joe. So we did defeat them. Also there was one question near the end which caused controversy within my team: "In 1997, which TV show made 1/3 of the BBC's profit?" my team were unsure, but I insisted on Tellytubbies. We were all so sure of our being right that I agreed to sign a contract allowing myself to be murdered by my teammates if the answer turns out to be wrong. I was right.

My cycle home wasn't particularly enjoyable, but exercise is good. That's all that can really be said on that topic.

Lastly I have decided to start putting a song at the end of these. I don't know how long this will last, but for the time being (i.e. tonight) it seems like a good idea. Heard this song on Kerrang yesterday and I was blown away by how awesome both the song and video are.

Trophy Nigger

Today turned out to be an excellent day. It started off very annoyingly though, as I spent the morning trying to get hold of Revenue & Customs to sort out my tax: basically last years I paid just over £800 tax when I should have paid precisely £0. I challenge you to get hold of someone to sort this out. Once I finally was granted the time of a call handler who was human, she confirmed I was due the £800+ to be refunded and to get this, I have to write a letter, requesting a review of the last financial year and all that I earned in it, send my P60 off to them, and basically wait for all this to be completed before I claim my own money back. It bugs me as it is my money that I've got to traverse no end of bureaucracy to reclaim.

Moving on however, I went a long walk with Merlin, our puppy. It was his first proper walk, and he spent most of the time jumping to attention at any of the sounds of the forest and being terrified of any people of other dogs we met. We went right over the top of the hills behind Borlum and down Bunloit, going along the main road back to my house: a massive circle. It's a lovely route except for the part just before you get to Borlum which is perpetually boggy: I always get slightly wet feet at this part but today I was doing a fairly good job in negotiating a somewhat sturdy path across it until I suddenly dropped about two feet, finding the majority of one leg entombed in the stagnant muck. It took a worrying amount of effort to retrieve my foot, clinging on to a nearby tree, using my full force to yank my leg out. The remainder of the walk was replete with a squishy, sloshing sensation in my left shoe which was at first unpleasant, but once the water warmed up it actually had a massaging quality to it strangely.

At dinner, my 7 year old brother, Kyle, was watching Kerrang with me and rating each of the songs played. I was pleased that he gave Bullet For My Valentine 10/10 whilst Paramore only achieved 5/10. It's ridiculously cool that I have managed to train a 7 year old metalhead.

This evening I got a surprise phone call from Angus saying he had a spare ticket for Reginald D Hunter at the Ironworks tonight. I took the opportunity and it was an excellent show. It wasn't billed but he had a support act in the form of Steve Hughes, a metalhead, anti-corporate semi-comedian. I say semi-comedian as he simply stood on stage for an hour rattling off his extreme views in an honest, concise manner, but presenting this in a somewhat humorous way. He was very funny but he wasn't so much making jokes. Sitting in the front row, wearing a Dragonforce T-Shirt he immediately noticed me, and inquired as to whether I approved of each of the metal bands he spoke of during the show.

Finally Reginald D Hunter appeared and he was very good. He doesn't have any gimmicks and his show is 90% written with very little improvisation (although when called for, he immediately retorts to heckling or audience participation), and he is very good at it, making it feel very realistic, rather than a lot of over-rehearsed, wooden comedians of that sort. Tthis wasn't billed for obvious reasons, but the tour it was part of is called Trophy Nigger. His comedy was very clever and surprisingly insightful. Basically he was supporting individual's opinions, as opposed to the state-decided political correctness and such.

It's a long post which would usually suggest a hectic day, but it's actually been nice and laid-back really; an excellent day save for the leg-smeared-in-stagnant-bog-water part.

Well, gosh darn.

Today started pretty normal; went to work as usual, and did my general stuff. Once my break came however, I suddenly had some wierd mini-breakdown that lasted a good while, making me terrified of being around people: not a good thing when you work in a shop. I went home for obvious reasons and spent my evening editing the photos from Marina and the Diamonds.

Ridiculously short post today, but I don't really want to embelish the bad part of the day, and the other parts of the day are horifically dull to write about.

One thing that shocked me was that this song is five years old. FIVE YEARS.

Magnets: How do they work?

Today I was back at work. I was more displeased about being back in Inverness in general rather than specifically unhappy about being back at work, but the ridiculous heat in the store did add to the unpleasantness of the day. It wasn't very busy but not particularly quiet; an average sort of day which meant it passed fairly quickly.

This evening I went to see Richard Dawkins in the Drummossie Hotel. I wasn't planning on doing this, but Angus phoned me in the afternoon with a spare place. The lecture was nothing to do with his atheist writings, but a general look at science, with the focus being on evidence and reason for everything, describing evolution through studies of cuckoos. It was interesting, if a bit rambling, but the question and answer afterwards was well worth going. There were genuinely good questions, to which Dawkins offered great insight to, but one man appeared and questioned the moral side of animal behavior. He met this with professional restraint, as I would have immediately annihilated him for posing such a ridiculous point. He basically explained that nature is cruel, but that's how it is, and how it must be. The man's retort was if that's the viewpoint you have, then surely it should be applied to the human world, for example if a person knifes someone we should all just go "oh well, that's natural selection for you." Dawkins remained very controlled, but it had gotten ridiculous. Nonetheless, he continued and seemingly rebutted the foolish argument.

Until we got outside.

One of the many cars had now got a car-boot sale style table erected, with books emblazoned with Dawkins' face upon them. One of the men manning the temporary stall was the same one as in the above story. They were Christians. One walked over to us, handing over a book for which I have forgotten the name, but the blurb on the back explained that science is wrong, and promised a full explanation of the true nature of the planet through reference to the Bible and such. We chose to converse with the dimwit. He introduced his point, stating that "all this science" is wrong, to which Angus brilliantly halted him, pointing out he is handing around books printed from a printing press, from the boot of a car which he drove here in, and having the audacity to decry science. He calmly retorted: "And where did the cars come from?"; Angus rightly stated it was from mankind's experiments, discoveries and ideas over thousands of years. The conversation quickly became lead to "the creation", as this seems to be a Christian's only argument that isn't instantly rebutted. I immediately interjected that evolution etc cannot be argued against. There was a beginning that cannot be explained by modern science, but from that point on, science is all right, and Richard Dawkins doesn't suggest anything other than that. He negated my summation of the last 4.6 billion years, rekindling the point of the beginning. Angus then guessed correctly that he was gearing this towards God being the start of it all, before saying, I quote:

"There is no more evidence for God creating the universe than there is for us all growing off of a piece of toast." The Christian was amused by this in a smug manner, turning the point on it's head; "Well, actually, there's far more evidence for man 'evolving' from a piece of toast than there is for him evolving from apes." We realised at this point that the argument was pointless. He informed us to read the book, as though the 50-odd A5 pages would have somehow concluded that for thousands of years, scientists have been completely wrong, and that a shiny man in the clouds is in fact to cause for everything ever. I flatly refused the book, even though it was free. They were clearly there to cause a fuss, as who in their right mind would think it is a good idea to peddle Christian propaganda at a Richard Dawkins lecture?

One last thing before I collapse on my bed: when asked by an audience member about the teaching of Creationism in American schools, Dawkins made this fanastic insight: in gallop polls, 40% of Americans firmly believe that the book of Genesis is a literal textbook, and are content in the belief that the earth is 10,000 years old. Science can without doubt prove that the earth is 4.6 billion years old, meaning that the Americans' margin of error, when applied to other means, would mean they should believe that their country is 8 yards wide. He finished off this point by saying "... and yet they manage to secure jobs..." before the audience erupted in laughter and applause.