DVLA rhymes with "gay"

On the 10th of February, I paid fifty galactic credits for my provisional licence. Today I was getting frustrated with waiting, so tweeted my anger. I believe that this was heard by the overlords, as today in the post I recieved a cheque for fifty pounds refunding my payment. Now I have to start all over again...

Work was insanely quiet today. Absolutely nothing interesting happened beyond me spending an hour trying to get an awesome Polish couple to pass a credit check; I finally achieved my goal, and the laptop sale was mine- er, I mean; the laptop was theirs.

This evening was host to impromptu "kitchen banter" at Drews. During this time I recalled a phone call I made to NHS 24. It happened in October, but I insist it is relevant, as I am currently attempting to sue the company that caused this phonecall; long story short, I had unimaginably painful eyes (later found out to be caused by my corneas being partly torn off), and after 24 hours of this pain, I finally called them. The phonecall went like this, with the young female operator speaking in a calming, pleasant tone that was totally impossible to get angry with;

Recorded Message: DO YOU HAVE SWINE FLU!? IF YOU HAVE SWINE FLU STAY AWAY, PUT THE PHONE DOWN, LEAVE THE COUNTRY, CATCH IT, BIN IT, KILL IT!!!!. Otherwise, please hold and an operator will be with you shortly.
Operator: Hello there, can I ask why you are calling?
Me: I have, eh.. very sore eyes.
Operator: I see... Is the patient breathing?
Me: Yes. I am the patient. It is my eyes; they are very painful.
Operator: Ah yes, I see... Is the patient conscious?
Me: ...Yes. However, my eyes are very painful.

This continued for a while, until finally I was given the advice I think all callers are given; go to A&E immediately.

After Kitchen banter, Darroch drove me home. Alan shotgunned the front seat, so when I got out and Darroch exited to "relieve himself", Alan took it upon himself to undo the handbrake, making the brattmobile lurch towards my massive hill, with Darroch going mental and Alan's maniacal laughter bellowing out. I thought this was one of the funniest things I had seen until I got on facebook and found this picture.



I literally laughed for ten minutes after seeing this, and on that, I shall end the post. A good day has been had, and in the morning I have a new pack of Alpen to open, so everything is looking fantastic.